Author: Adam Silvera
Publisher: Soho Teen
Published Date: January 17th 2017
Genre: Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Loss, Romance
My Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★
When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.
To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart.
If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.
"History remains with the people who will appreciate it most."
I went into this book with no expectations whatsoever, and I am really glad I did it that way.
Griffin is now dealing with the loss of his first love (Theo), the person he thought he was always going to be with, the one he had had all of his firsts with. Yes things had happened that had caused them to be apart, but he still believed they would get back together.
But things don't work out how he thought they would, and instead of seeing him again soon. It was seeing him again at his funeral, with his new boyfriend there as well. This makes for some awkward moments for both Griffin's parents and Theo's, and of course the new boyfriend (Jackson) was awkward to.
"He made me feel safe from the world, and made me feel safe from myself."
As time goes on and Griffin and Jackson start spending time togethor we get to see not only the things Griffin did with Theo, but also the things Jackson had done with him to. We learned so much about all of them and how maybe things weren't as special to the other as they thought they were.
Honestly I really did like this book. The parents were so supportive of them and completely understood and had normal rules put in place.
The way Griffin dealt with his grief while not being in a healthy way, was something that is fairly normal for a lot of people sadly.
"Its what you do. Sorry, that sounds like you're a whore or something, that's not what I mean. you do things you know you shouldn't. It's like your wired to make mistakes when you're not in your 'best space' and it wasn't hard to guess that was going to happen."His friendship with Wade while strained now, was nice as well considering they had been three best friends and then Griffin and Theo had started dating, which could have made everything weird, but it somehow didn't. Wade kept trying and kept being around when Griffin needed him and he was just a really good friend, who truly just wanted the best for Griffin.
When it came to dealing with other issues Griffin had though I felt like his parents did let them go on for a little to long, or maybe Griffin was just better at hiding it before Theo died.